Classmate Prompt 2

How to review a poem: These are a few of the many things to consider when reviewing a poem. To begin, I use the example from Melissa Stein’s collection Rough Honey, “Olives, Bread, Honey, and Salt”:

Olives, Bread, Honey, and Salt
The lanes are littered with the bodies of bees.
A torrent took them, swarming in branches
just as the white buds loosened their hearts
of pale yellow powder. Each body is a lover:
the one with skin blank as pages; the one
so moved by the pulse ticking in your throat;
the one who took your lips in his teeth
and wouldn’t let go; the one who turned
from you and lay there like a carcass. If we were
made to be whole, we wouldn’t be so lost
to each offering of tenderness and a story.
Therefore our greatest longing is our home.
There is always the one bee that circles and circles,
twitching its sodden wings.

1.      What does the poem mean? (Basic level). Here, there was some sort of flood during springtime. The water ruined a hive and killed most of the bees.

2.      Are there interesting connections? What is a larger meaning? Stein writes about relationships (“Each body is a lover”). With this line, the broken bees become couples. With the last, lonely bee who “circles and circles,” we are reminded of mourning.

3.      What are the components?

a.      How does the title work? Is it expected? Is it the first line of the poem? Does it add to the poem, or is it a quick naming that we’ll find later in a line? What would work best for this poem? In this poem, it’s not the first line, but we won’t find it in the piece either. It seems to suggest some of the basic components of life (food), and this will add to the system of relationships and life revealed later.

b.     What about the line length and form? Following a structure reads differently and into a tradition of poetry. Breaking that tradition also sends signals or critical “signs.” Short lines are read differently than long lines. Punctuation can slow or speed a poem. Read the poem out loud. Is each piece of punctuation necessary?  Do the enjambments (line breaks) add to or hinder the piece? This poem is not in form, though Stein often uses form. Here, she uses no rigid structures, no rhyme schemes, no self-imposed rules. Her form is open, allowing her more liberty in leaps and words. The poem is slow. There are medium-size lines with long-pause punctuation (lots of periods, colons, semi-colons, etc). This adds to the gravity, forcing us to become that last bee.

4.      What is good about the piece? The title, the images, the line breaks, something disturbing or sweet? For me, it’s the following lines: “Each body is a lover: / the one with skin blank as pages” and “the one who turned / from you and lay there like a carcass” (as if, for humans, the death of lovers are metaphorical and voluntary).

5.      What needs work? Although I love this draft, there are parts I would change. I don’t care for the buds’ powder referred to as “hearts” loosening—it’s a bit too sentimental, especially with the line about the lovers. Also, I would remove “Therefore,” because I think it fragments and jars the piece (not that we need it; after all, our lover just died). Finally, there is something missing before the last sentence. I’m not sure what it is, but it’s a void that tells me this draft was hurried or left incomplete (otherwise abandoned).

6.      What is something you can learn from the piece? Here, I like that she reviewed abstract concepts and life lessons by observing a specific and corporeal incident. With the sodden death of bees, we investigate relationships, loneliness, and mourning. But first, she began with a specific image (seemingly unrelated, and therefore more interesting; we all feel that jump from dead bees to lovers) and moved outward.